Youth ministry is such an interesting ministry of the church.
We all know the stereotype: lots of pizza orders, Mtn Dew, late-night events, bus trips, holes in the wall, lots of messes, policing hormones, and somewhere within all that there is an attempt to instill truth that we hope lasts beyond 12th grade.
I’ve spent years doing youth ministry. I’m closing in on 13 years, which, typing that, makes me feel a little old. Maybe I really am the “Unc” the teens at church have called me.
It is something I value deeply, but the longer I do it, the more I find myself asking: what is it actually supposed to accomplish?
If you met me in person, one look at me and it probably would not take you long to know that I am a youth pastor. Maybe it is the slimmer pants…not skinny, slim, there is a difference…the Clarks leather boots, the early-2000s messy spiked hair, or sitting in Barnes & Noble with a Bible and notebook, sipping coffee in the cafe. That is actually my current location as I type this.
For years, this has been me: an all-in youth pastor.
But over the last three-plus years, I have been wrestling with what I have been doing and what God has called me to do.
Is modern youth ministry actually God’s desire for leading teens? Is it His design?
The wrestling is not whether youth ministry matters. I believe it does.
I have seen teenagers grow, make decisions, ask hard questions, serve, worship, build friendships, and take real steps of faith.
The wrestling is deeper than that.
I keep asking myself if the structure we have created around youth ministry sometimes makes us feel like we are discipling teenagers simply because they are showing up and doing “church.”
The program is running. Teens are showing up. They are happy. Parents are happy. They hear truth.
But my heart wrestles with questions like:
Are teens engaged in church because of fun and entertainment, or because they love the Lord?
Is the church quietly becoming a substitute for God’s design of family discipleship from parent to child?
Instead of helping parents disciple their children, am I replacing them?
If youth group wasn’t a thing—if there were no retreats, no activities, no more “fun” service than “big church”—would the teens still want to be there?
Would they still engage spiritually with the church?
These questions have riddled my mind.
A lot of these thoughts come after Wednesday night youth service. The room is quiet, the teens are gone, the night is over, and I find myself sitting there thinking about what we are really building.
Am I alone in thinking this?
I can’t be the only youth pastor wrestling with this.
I think of our yearly retreats where worship is so sweet, teens are hungry for truth, and they are making decisions that I pray last a lifetime.
I see teens encouraging each other, holding each other accountable, and building godly relationships.
It seems like all is going so well.
But is it?
Would they follow the Lord if the retreat did not exist, or if the events were few and far between?
It is easy to measure the impact of youth ministry by excitement, involvement, the amount of pizza boxes thrown into the church dumpster, and the spiritual mountaintops that happen within youth ministry.
But is that really the measure?
What about when the dodgeballs are put away and the music of the altar call is silent?
That is the question I keep coming back to.
Not whether they enjoyed youth group.
Not whether they loved the retreat.
Not even whether they made a decision in an emotional moment.
What remains when they graduate, move away, get busy, start a family, and no longer have a youth pastor planning the next event?
The goal was never simply to produce teenagers who love youth group. The goal is adults who follow Christ.
Is what I am building a culture centered around what our youth group does and believes?
Or am I building disciples whose faith goes deeper than Wednesday night service and youth camp?
It is so easy to get lost in the programs, the machine, and lose sight of the call God has given every believer: to be a disciple who makes more disciples.
Am I fabricating youth group followers, or am I developing Christ followers the way Christ designed discipleship to be?
Part of what makes this difficult is that I don’t believe youth ministry was ever meant to replace the home.
I want to come alongside parents, reinforce truth, build relationships, create opportunities, and help teenagers take ownership of their faith.
But I wonder how easily a good ministry can quietly become a substitute for something it was only meant to support.
Youth ministry can become the source rather than the support.
The more I think about how Jesus made disciples, the more I wonder whether our ministries should look less like an event teenagers attend and more like relationships that help them learn to follow Him in everyday life.
I do not see the value in abandoning youth ministry. I still believe in it deeply.
I still believe in retreats, events, relationships, games, teaching, and creating spaces where teenagers can grow.
But I want to believe in those things with a deeper conviction about why they matter and what they are meant to accomplish.
I also want to honestly wrestle with what youth ministry can become if I am not careful.
God has entrusted me with the responsibility to lead well and according to His truth.
So as I ponder and wrestle with these thoughts, I am not trying to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I am trying to lead with more wisdom and discernment.
I want the fun to support the mission, not become the mission.
I want youth ministry to come alongside the home, not quietly replace it.
I want teenagers to love being together, but more than that, I want them to learn to love Christ when the retreat is over, the music is silent, and the dodgeballs are put away.
Maybe the question I need to keep asking is not:
Is youth ministry working?
Maybe it is:
What kind of disciple is it producing?
Stay grounded. Live intentionally. Keep moving.